0 comments / Posted on by Christine R

Browsed through your contacts and realized that all your friends are either married, have children, or in serious relationships whereas the biggest decision you have to make right now is whether you want to take home the beaded bracelets or the matching t-shirts for you and your siblings?

If you are successful, sociable and a ball of fun to be around but still single, there is a chance that you may be a commitment-phobe. This term simply refers to someone who is terrified of commitment and who prefers a lifestyle unmarred by having a significant other.

Sure, it may seem that singles have the most fun. One-night stands, flirting with the hottest people in the room and dancing the night away at a mega club may seem like the ideal life for many, including you. There is nothing wrong with being single, but if you have any of the following signs, you need help

You need to maintain independence.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be in control of your life and destiny. However, if the thought of someone playing a role in your life’s decision-making processes terrifies you, then you have a problem.

You dislike or avoid language-involving commitment.

If you have commitment issues you often want to treat everything in a casual way and the language you use to describe the relationship, or previous relationships, often reflects it. You may not want to think of a long-time partner as a boyfriend or girlfriend, or have no interest in advancing a relationship past casual dating. You may seek only friends with benefits type of relationships with no strings attached, or may ghost your partner if you feel things are getting too heavy. That lets you avoid the conversation altogether.

You Look For Flaws In Your Partner

Sometimes it’s not the case that the match isn’t a good one; it’s that you don’t allow it to be. Your abandonment issues mean you focus on the flaws in your partner. You ignore all their positive attributes. This way, when things finally go south, you can tell yourself they weren’t right for you anyway. You seek a perfection that doesn’t exist anywhere other than in your head. Unfortunately, this approach is likely to contribute to the breakdown in your relationship.

You have qualities that scare off potentials.

Whether it is your loud and abrasive behavior, or nature of your job that always takes you on the road, you probably exhibit qualities that scare off possible spouses. Without even knowing it, you build obstacles that discourage potential partners from venturing in any further. This is a way for you to build distance between yourself and others. By doing so, you lessen the risk of being intimate with someone.

You are a poor communicator and difficult to get in touch with.

There can be several reasons for poor communication. In the context of commitment issues, another deflection and defensive mechanism that helps you as a person to maintain a comfortable distance. That can be in either romantic or platonic sense. For instance, you may do things like not answer messages fully, not answer at all, let your phone go to voice mail and never pick up, or never call unless you need something in return. Your investment into the friendship or relationship is typically shallow and self-serving, and your communication modes reflect it.


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